Kindred spirits
Dear man sitting opposite me on the train
Why do you look so sad? Do you secretly yearn to be a circus acrobat, resplendent in your sequinned leotard and cape? Me too! We have so much in common. We should start a club! Do you have a leotard? Don’t worry if you don’t because I don’t either, so we’ll go shopping at the weekend.
I bet you’re also dealing with the fact that you’ll never ride a motorbike across America, stopping off in small towns and defeating local baddies who make everyone’s lives miserable and who have moustaches. It’s amazing how similar we are. Should we invite the lady sitting on your right? On second thoughts, she looks like she probably did that already. She can’t join our club.
Anyway. I’ll make some special membership hats. Ideally, they should be made from raccoons, but I don’t know where to get raccoons. Do you have any ideas? Actually, never mind. You just focus on the leotards.
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132 Responses to “Kindred spirits”
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- - February 6, 2012
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Dampsquid is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License - nonsense demands to be free! (but it's always nice to be referenced).
I might be able to get a couple racoons–if not, my son has a fake coonskin cap that we can take turns wearing.
PAHA! I am going to make my like for this official by pressing the various buttons you have on here
Hahaha Awesome & so true. It makes the public transit rides vastly more entertaining..
I feel the same way whenever I see and Oompa Loompa.
Just out of interest, H.E., how often do you see Oompa Loompas? I wonder whether they’re related to the gnomes I occasionally glimpse running across my garden.
Weird stuff — I love it!
very very cool, thanks for the trip.
-Peace
Greatness. I think I hate you a little. In a good way.
I might already be in love with your blog. That you for such delightful, thought-provoking word-pieces.
On a barely related note, I can’t help hearing ‘leotard’ without hearing Suede’s “My Insatiable One” in my head (and swooning).
I propose an international (UK and US) leotard day. It’ll be the day formerly known as Tuesday. I’ll start and wait for everyone else to catch on.
Is it okay if my leotard is a bright pink hue?
We might clash, but that’s fine with me.
I usually hate when people are overly satirical. I WANT to hate the blog because of my stance on overwhelming sarcasm in blogs, but I actually love it…. and I hate that I love it. Whether you follow me or not, this is good stuff.
I can’t believe somebody hates overwhelming sarcasm!
Pretty amusing stuff you got here. This is one of my favorites. Leotard. Pretty funny
we seem to have a similar dark humor. I like it!
lol, kindred spirits indeed! we have a few racoons along the highway if you need any… great post!
I get that you’re looking for raccoons … but I kid you not, dead squirrels keep following me around. Here’s a post that includes a pic of just one of ‘em:
http://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/dear-universe-can-you-hear-me-now/
Kinda creepy, but could make for some good hats. Seriously.
LOL (again) @ your squirrels, Mikalee!
It just seemed appropriate, Anne — dampsquid was looking for some beavers. I mean, raccoons. For hats.
Ah, fresh out of raccoons and dead squirrels, but I do have a psycho albino frog I’d like to donate to any cause that removes him from my patio.
This is one of the rare days where I’ve enjoyed ALL the Freshly Pressed blog posts I’ve read! Congrats!
Huge, wobbly thanks. May your magnets continue to bring you only the best foolishness.
Leotards are cool. I wish I could go back to the 80s and become Denise Austin.
Love this post. A mini-dream.
My best friend lived in Hungary for a brief time. She said she saw the saddest man in the world there. He was an older man, all by himself, and he was holding two ice cream cones; one in each hand.
She said he had the face of a man whose wife miscarried his unborn son and died after being hit in the womb by a puppy who was vaulted by a car. She said that was the saddest face in the world.
I have to comment on this, because that image of the two ice cream cones really does sound incredibly sad….
I think that animal on the cover of your blog, looks dern right mad that he’s getting his pic taken…run!
What about the secret handshake? GOTTA have a secret handshake!!
Oh, to read minds! Life would never cease to be amusing if we could hear what someone across from us was thinking (that…or we’d get angry and hit them over their head with our purse or briefcase)
Lol.
Different kinda post.
I like
and then the Racoon…..
LOL
GOod post
Great post, and I often wonder the same thing!
However, playing devil’s advocate, let me paraphrase a story (I read it in a Stephen Covey book, although it may not have originated there) which may add some nuance to your post.
A man was riding the train during his daily commute, reading a newspaper. At the next stop, a man and his three children got on the train. The newcomer and the three children sat down opposite the commuter. After a few moments, the children were up and out of their seats, running up and down the aisles, annoying the man with the newspaper and generally making nuisances of themselves. Through the whole episode, the man who had boarded the train with the children sat motionless, as if he didn’t care about their behavior.
Finally, the commuter had had enough. “Can’t you control your children?” he demanded.
The other man looked up, as if seeing the commuter for the first time. “Oh, I’m sorry, you’re right,” he said, and then explained, “I’m not really with it right now. We just came from the hospital; my wife died an hour ago.”
Thank you for cracking me the hell up on a bland Friday afternoon.
Great post.
I once posted a blog on MySpace several years ago with only a joke. It got over 500 hits. I so appreciate this blog :0)
val
http;//valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com
This is so random. I love it! I have my leotard and am ready at the front door. Hahaha!
Congrats on being Freshly pressed!! It is insane, right?
Leotards and special membership hats: where do we sign up?
So beautiful. Thank you.
Macy’s is having a sale this weekend, sure hope leotards are included. I’d rather join a theatre than a circus, but that’s more due to lack of physical flexibility than anything.
Was it wrong of me to be surprised this was posted in “humor”? I still want in your club though if I can keep my leotard and my sequins separate. Actually, I’d like my sequins to be neatly sorted by color too with the pink ones first and then in order from most to least. Actually, I’d prefer to sort them myself. Actually, come to think of it, maybe I belong in a different club.
Fantastic thoughts! Glad this was shared!
I am not sure if this is meant to be read in a slightly sing song way with the voice of John Malkovich, but thats how I read it! Schnarfl!
i like the sound of the iron wheels against the tracks. my new friend, i wish it rained tonight. i’m beginning to like you very much.
Very clever little post and very funny to other people watchers like me! No raccoons here but there’s a dead armadillo up on Route 15.
Super Cute! Maybe we are kindred spirits too, and oh my goodness, I don’t have a leotard either!!!!
Hey, I was the woman on the bus sitting next to him. Why not invite me? I’ve only done that in a few, select states. I could perhaps give you a few pointers. Plus I have loads of leotards and you can have any style you wish.
Enjoyed your offbeat post and next time don’t be shy, come say hello.
Aww that was fun! I had fun wandering after your train of thought!
Mine was derailed
Fun to imagine the stories of strangers on the train.
Thank you for making me smile. People watching is one of my favorite past times. My husband and I recently realized we rarely talk when we go out to dinner, because we both are so in tuned to others. Not to worry we have plenty of conversation when people aren’t distracting us.
I want to join, can I huh?
Of course. Just send a photo of your leotard, with or without fairy wings, and your application will be processed by our team of specially trained admin gibbons.
Raccoons live near the woods. Their hats are tough to make. The meat isn’t very good either
So funny! If only the sad man sitting across from you could have read these words, too. Thanks for the smiles.
Loved your post!!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!
Short, to the point and funny. Just goes to show that you don’t need a thousand words or beautiful photos to convey your thoughts. Great post.
The last time I wore a leotard was when I foolishly took a class in modern dance. I was a horrible dancer, and as I was practicing with an attractive young lady, I developed a…well, you can’t disguise it very well in a leotard, now can you? So as delightful as your club sounds, no leotards for me. I’d rather just be naked and be done with it. as crass as that is. Or perhaps a raccoon carcass across the crotch, I rather like how that sounds, lots of c’s.
Awe, you made my mind wander back to the short few years I lived in the “City” San Francisco. I rode the muni everyday. I am a people watcher, and I would sit there watching as they got on and off.
My good friend came into school one day horribly embarrassed, because she had fallen asleep and in the process laid her head on the strangers shoulder next to her. He was a very successful looking man in an expensive suit, and quite good looking she said. She rode clear into the City which was about a 2 hour ride and he never said a thing, just let her sleep all the way into the City!
I still chuckle at some of my City experiences that I had… Good times! Although I am thoroughly enjoying my time back out on the Ranch!
Peace and Harmony,
Sj
hello, squid,
yes, this is short and sweet. reminds me of those british essays and short stories in the days when east india co. was still lording it over at the east. train stories by western men who find it hard to speak to other passengers. ^^
it’s a clever post. thanks for sharing.
love it!
Wow! Freshly Pressed–congratulations!
Thanks Jen.
By the way, I really love the stuff you’ve got on http://www.jenniferdonovan.com
i remember a racoon named Richard from the movie Where The Wild Things Are. …there’s one leotard in all of us.
What ever happened to Ricky Raccoon? Anyone remember him?
I don’t look so good in leotards, but I love the club hats…can I help design them?
Congrats on being FP!
What about sheepskin hats? Nothing says membership like sheepskin.
I want pink gemstones bedazzled onto the leotards. Pink bedazzled leotards and sheepskin hats are going to be the new “Miniskirts & uggs” someone get Cameron Diaz in on this STAT.
Dear person reading this reply, I love that picture you put up, over there to the left. And where did you buy that shirt you’re wearing, it’s so edgy. Let’s do brunch,okay?
(loved the post, it was fun to try it out myself, thanks for indulging me)
I hit the like button on this, then realised that I recognised your name, then realised that you’d liked one of my posts a few days ago, then realised that we should start a club!
*insert smiley face here* Very cute and witty post. Loving it!
That’s a nice one man..
It’s good to know other people think this kind or random shit, too
Congrats on being freshly pressed (and a just a little bit squeezed) x
Membership hats? I am there!
This made me smile immediately! I do the same thing when I see sad people or even rude people. My children and I make up wild stories about people when they cut us off in traffic or cut in line — like they are secret agents and they are being chased — but usually we just pretend they have some terrible affliction which has given them diarrhea and they have to get home quickly! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
I like read your blog. Thanks
I too wanted to run away and join the circus. But then I realized I already had a job in the Circus. I was asked to juggle everything, my boss is the fat lady, and some of my co-workers are clowns. HA!
Stop talking about hats soo much.
..
..
Reminds me of Team Fortress 2
I thought I was the only one. It was a Thursday, maybe a Friday, anyway, I saw what I knew to be a man in a hat. I knew it was a hat because it was on his head. He turned and looked at me. I knew, he knew, and then it passed. I wish I had had the wonderful conversation you did. Maybe I will… One day.
strange…. but kinda like it
Congrats on FP!!
may I join the club?
I thought I was the only one who made up stories for strangers….their lives are way more fascinating than mine.
Ugh. Moustaches.
haHA! I find raccoons to be smug creatures. Squirrels however are much more accommodating.
fabulous post. thanks for sharing
Dear sir,
Can I be in your club?
If I can’t be in your club, I would like a subscription to your newsletter. Or newsletters, if you plan on having separate publications for the circus club and the motorcycle-travelling baddie-thumping club.
lol
Reblogged this on Breathing Sunshine and commented:
I love this blog!
cute! just let’s do it together
This demands a ” I thought I was the only one” not in the leotards part, but in imagining weird-cute conversations with the other “traffic” partners. You made me laugh, thank you!
so cool . thank you.
Congrats on being pressed!!! Love the post!
Gosh, reminds me of all the times I spent on the metro going to and from work in Washington, DC, and how I longed to make some sort of contact with all of those sad looking people! . . . Great job!
http://arabianmusings.wordpress.com/
Totally hilarious – I love your sense of humor! I know exactly that feeling of wondering what the other people riding in the subway have going on in their heads and their lives (after a move to Germany, I’m new to the world of public transportation). Do you ever wonder what they’re thinking about you…?
loved this lol very cute and funny. wow so many reblogs! it works wonders when wordpress pays attention and posts the good stuff in the featured posts!
There is nothing without a remedy. Great post
…great wee site!! greetings from N. Ireland!! will check back soon!!
So short, simple and yet so real !
Bwahahaha! Opps sorry, did I just laugh out loud? Love it.
I’ve often made up scenarios in my head for people I see that catch my fancy. Just to explain an outfit or a look. So glad someone else does that and that you’ve even written it down! How cool. Great imagination.
Your writing style is delightful. It is a real inspiration for my rather directionless blog.
Can I join your club? It seems like we have similar thought processes while commuting.
Reblogged this on reinaldobanh and commented:
Someone is looking at u, and us.
LOL … cool trip!
I secretly yearn to be a evil cave dwarf, with a helmet and a pickaxe. And no I wouldn’t wear a leotard, it would be a skirt of leopard tails and human thigh bones. And as for those sequins, I’d be harvesting them from your acrobat and selling them to Gypsies.
HAHAHA! I did this too everyday when I see someone new! I try to imagine their background story that resulted in them being at the same place and the same time as me… hmmm.. makes for interesting stories, especially when clowns are involved!
Are the Beatles member of your club ? Don’t forget, they sang “Rocky raccoon” too
Feel the same when I see some1 has something and I don’t.
I have plenty of leotards
While I admire your flair for fashion I would be remiss if I didn’t inform you that after talking it over with the raccoons they have unanimously decided that squirrels would make for far better membership hats.
Ooh, kindred spirit, your journey to work is clearly way more exciting than mine – or else your imagination is . . .
what about raccoon leotards I feel sure they would be very becoming…….
Clever, cute post…congratulations on your freshly pressed
Love it, my commute will not be the same! Congrats on FP’d
Thanks Mister. I sincerely hope you mean that it’s forever changed now you’ve resolved to wear a sequinned leotard to work.
aww i wanna join the club too
Although I have no idea what leotards are, can I join the club? Please?
lol…Love it! I’d wear the leotards if I could be a memeber…never mind…they’d make my butt look fat. Can I just wear the coon skin hat? Anyway, congrats on being FP!
lmao entertaining…thanks for the laugh! Leotards are awesome!! haha
lol. Two words for this post – Critically Insane!
Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!
This was just freaking great! Great, great, great. Thank you.
have a little like Black humor，interesting
That’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever received from a battery shop, which speaks volumes about the antisocial nature of battery shops in general. You, sir, are a credit to battery shops everywhere.
No Offense But In The Words Of The Legendary Steve Austin – “What”?
Great post ! I have this habit of making up stories for strangers…I wonder what it would be like if they can read our minds
Congrats on freshly pressed !
I don’t have a leopard leotard but I do know where you can get a raccoon hat, can I be in the club too?
Grats on FP.
Congrats of the FP! Yay for you.
Reblogged this on sincera7.
I’ve always wanted to say exactly this to the scowlers on the train. Of course you picked a special one with whose scowl you identified. I am a step ahead however, since I do own a leotard.
HYSTERICAL POST!
Oh so delightful!
grab the hats, i got the leotards and we head to Milan
)
Happy Day
Loved the intro Squid..but damn the leotards!