Zombie keyboard cat

Today, during a brief pause in my hugely important work schedule, I discovered that my keyboard contained precisely the right ingredients to make a cat. It would, admittedly, be a crap cat – mostly hair and skin and almost certainly a zombie – but I’m pretty sure it was all there. Once complete, the cat, who I have provisionally named ‘Curtis Tiger’ will live on my shoulder and be trained to attack anyone who:

a) Wakes me up during meetings

b) Disagrees with anything Curtis Tiger or I say, or questions the ethics of feline necromancy during working hours

c) Questions the wisdom of bringing me tea at intervals that I will specify. Curtis Tiger will have blood. (‘Curtis Tiger will have blood’ is going to be the name of my first album as soon as my rockstar potential has been tapped.)

d) Questions my rockstar potential

e) Writes their name with little hearts over the i’s.

Bear this in mind and you’ll be fine.



About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: