Balanced and nutty
I love your coffee so much I haven’t blinked in four years. Have you thought of delivering to offices through hosepipes? I reckon we’d all club together for a hosepipe to be connected to our office because it would stop the headaches setting in while we queue. I know coffee is a good drug and in no way damaging to society, like booze or the X Factor, and I’m sure it’s perfectly normal that I can’t poo until I’ve had at least five shots of espresso in the morning. Have you thought of selling coffee in syringes? Do you know of any hospitals that would be willing to sell me a drip? I like the crunchy coffee you sell in bags, although I find that it stains my tie if I try to spoon too much into my mouth all at once. Do you sell cups that I can swim in? What? What did you say? Did you just call me paranoid? People are always doing that, behind my back. Sorry. Not your fault. I love you guys.