Dear Waistline

I appreciate it’s Christmas and all that, but your recent behaviour has not gone unnoticed. I was willing to overlook a bit of exuberance but, since you invited your friends, the moobs, to stay, it’s all got a bit much. In the spirit of the season, I have made reasonable adjustments and did not hesitate in meeting your request for elastic and antacids, but enough is enough.
If you continue in this course of action, I will be forced to cut off the supply of fruit and vegetables that you and the government are so enthusiastic about.

I need to go now because I want to eat another packet of jelly tots before I go to bed.


Fat Alex



About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

8 responses to “Ho.”

  1. Your lovely wife says :

    Not moobs, just a bit of loose muscle!

  2. makesomethingmondays says :

    I love this! Like doesn’t cut it.

  3. mycoignofvantage says :

    Priceless! Should have been freshly pressed!

  4. Exiled Star says :

    I love your minimalist approach to quoting Santa.

  5. Robert Hansen says :

    Funny. You’d think we’d have more power over the belly. Perhaps they have a strong union.

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