The stresses of modern living are now exacerbated by the need for everything in the bloody house to receive updates from the internet. Just this morning I was attempting to construct some breakfast when my efforts were thwarted by the toaster demanding the latest operating system upgrade, so it could set the fire alarm off via bluetooth without having to risk actually heating up.
Once the toaster had received its update, and I was busy hitting the smoke alarm with the handle of a mop (that was still using mOP1.1, so it couldn’t alert the fire safety authorities), the doorbell informed the kettle that someone had arrived, which was fairly fruitless as the kettle was still running KTL9.2 and was unable to leap down off the counter and answer the door (functionality introduced in the 9.3 update). Luckily, my cochlea licenses had just been renewed, so I was able to detect the noise with my standard hardware. I opened the door to find a male of unestablished credentials downloading piles of spam onto my drive. Conveniently, having not defragmented the drive for some time, the spam slid between the bits, filling it up nicely. The pop-ups can be a tad inconvenient when I’m trying to reverse the car out, but the fence posts just gained an extra four inches in a week.