Categorical errors

Dear websites

Yes, all of you.

You’ve made a terrible mistake in your age categorisation. You see, I’m in the youngest category. Always have been. Recently, I have noticed that the upper age boundary of that category refers to (you’ll be so embarrassed) people who were born in the nineteen hundred and eighties! For the love of god, these people can’t be trusted with grown-up things like bank accounts and mortgages and eBay. I mean, have you seen them? Most of them haven’t even got the hang of trousers.

I look forward to receiving your fax, confirming that this mistake has been rectified.

Yours in youthful fury,



About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

5 responses to “Categorical errors”

  1. Elyse says :

    I guess you’ve met my son. He is wearing shorts in January.

  2. tootlepedal says :

    I’ve noticed that ignorant commentators say things like “They haven’t won anything since 1983”. They don’t seem to realise that 1983 is yesterday not a long time ago. You have my sympathy boy.

  3. The Rant Machine says :

    born in ’77. Kids today consider that the Dark Ages (read as “pre-internet”)

  4. raburcke says :

    Dear Squid,
    There seems to be a problem with your posts. The last two I got an email for, gave me an error code when I wanted to visit them! You might want to check it out.

    • Squid says :

      I appreciate the warning. There’s something amuck with my iPad, which may very well be related to my nephew having spent the last seven hours abusing it with some damned Sonic the Hedgehog game.
      I have reasserted dominance over all of my devices and trust that normal service will now resume.

      Squid or Alex or whatever.

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