Damn mutant fingers

Dear Fingers.

I know it probably isn’t the most glamorous gig, being my fingers. You spend a decent amount of time performing various useful tasks up my nose and in other crevices. Your hard work is appreciated.

Even so, when even the post-post post (being the post posted immediately after accidentally posting a half-baked stream of consciousness that was never supposed to be see the light of day) goes off half cocked, necessitating this post-post-post post, I start to question whether you are intentionally sabotaging my efforts.

Kindly do not press the publish button again until I tell you to. If you even try blaming the iPad version of WordPress, I will go back to blogging with my toes.

Sincerely

Alex

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About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

16 responses to “Damn mutant fingers”

  1. artjen1971 says :

    So does this mean we won’t be rewarded for following your bog? Or should I give you my address so you know where to send my big fat check? I’m assuming that’s what you meant in the “post post post” post…

  2. Elyse says :

    Damn Word Press is always messing me up. Hides things. Move things. Changes them. Sometimes the wording isn’t perfect, and for that I blame word press too. It doesn’t write nearly as well as I do.

    Or maybe you’ve stuck your fingers into my blog. Something to ponder.

  3. kianys says :

    Brilliant!

    🙂 K.

  4. Rick Daddario says :

    serious fun that is wickedly humorful. mahalo (thanks) my fingers need a well versed cage reminder every so often. bounce on then. please. aloha.

  5. Sheena says :

    Yes mine have a mind of their own…like sending naughty messages and updating bad blogs….curse you fingers!

  6. Mariane says :

    Hmm Naughty fingers!?! – Maybe you should let them go on a bootcamp? So they can learn how to behave. When they are on the bootcamp your brain has vacation and then you can find the true story?

    Like the way you write!

  7. raburcke says :

    You tell ’em, son! i’ve got me these troublesome elbows I’m gonna have to have a talkin’ to!

  8. Chris Sheridan says :

    I hate it when that happens! And I can relate, because I’ve been getting fingered by my fingers for far too long, and I’ve had more than enough!

  9. JamieRene says :

    Hearts. My fingers can be bitches too.

  10. pointsthruprose says :

    Hi, I would like to give you the Kreative Blogger Award for your clever and very humorous blog. http://pointsthruprose.com/2012/01/08/kreativ-blogger-award/
    Jackie

  11. Let's CUT the Crap! says :

    Indeed! Why is it that ‘Ooopse’y occurs at the same instant wayward fingers hit the button? Whay can’t they be trained to ‘stay put’ until it’s time? Is it performance anxiety?

    • Squid says :

      “Ohmygodohmygodohmygod”.
      The damp squid fans his face with both hands, in a peculiar gesture designed to prevent crying. He thanks Lorre, of the marvellous ‘Articles of Absurdity’ before going on to thank everyone else he’s ever met, including his penguin spirit guide. He eventually acknowledges that referring to himself in the third person is slightly creepy, and promises to stop.

      Thanks Lorre

  12. sweetsound says :

    “half-baked stream of consciousness that was never supposed to be see the light of day”…. my entire life. Very genious writing.

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