Dear Olympics Committee
At first, I was worried about the Olympics coming to London but have since been reassured that they do not carry rabies and the last recorded case of an Olympic eating a human was in 1976. And that was only because the human was poking it with a stick.
As a resident of London, I will be happy to look after a couple of visiting Olympics while they wait to do their gymnastics, or whatever. Will my shed be suitable accommodation or do they prefer to live in hedgerows?