Dear man sitting opposite me on the train
Why do you look so sad? Do you secretly yearn to be a circus acrobat, resplendent in your sequinned leotard and cape? Me too! We have so much in common. We should start a club! Do you have a leotard? Don’t worry if you don’t because I don’t either, so we’ll go shopping at the weekend.
I bet you’re also dealing with the fact that you’ll never ride a motorbike across America, stopping off in small towns and defeating local baddies who make everyone’s lives miserable and who have moustaches. It’s amazing how similar we are. Should we invite the lady sitting on your right? On second thoughts, she looks like she probably did that already. She can’t join our club.
Anyway. I’ll make some special membership hats. Ideally, they should be made from raccoons, but I don’t know where to get raccoons. Do you have any ideas? Actually, never mind. You just focus on the leotards.