Kindred spirits

Dear man sitting opposite me on the train

Why do you look so sad? Do you secretly yearn to be a circus acrobat, resplendent in your sequinned leotard and cape? Me too! We have so much in common. We should start a club! Do you have a leotard? Don’t worry if you don’t because I don’t either, so we’ll go shopping at the weekend.
I bet you’re also dealing with the fact that you’ll never ride a motorbike across America, stopping off in small towns and defeating local baddies who make everyone’s lives miserable and who have moustaches. It’s amazing how similar we are. Should we invite the lady sitting on your right? On second thoughts, she looks like she probably did that already. She can’t join our club.
Anyway. I’ll make some special membership hats. Ideally, they should be made from raccoons, but I don’t know where to get raccoons. Do you have any ideas? Actually, never mind. You just focus on the leotards.

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About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

132 responses to “Kindred spirits”

  1. artjen1971 says :

    I might be able to get a couple racoons–if not, my son has a fake coonskin cap that we can take turns wearing.

  2. madtarot says :

    PAHA! I am going to make my like for this official by pressing the various buttons you have on here

  3. sparkyleegeek says :

    Hahaha Awesome & so true. It makes the public transit rides vastly more entertaining..

  4. H.E. ELLIS says :

    I feel the same way whenever I see and Oompa Loompa.

    • Squid says :

      Just out of interest, H.E., how often do you see Oompa Loompas? I wonder whether they’re related to the gnomes I occasionally glimpse running across my garden.

  5. Harper Faulkner says :

    Weird stuff — I love it!

  6. sobnyc says :

    very very cool, thanks for the trip.

    -Peace

  7. Mike is Happy says :

    Greatness. I think I hate you a little. In a good way.

  8. gabrielgarbowota says :

    I might already be in love with your blog. That you for such delightful, thought-provoking word-pieces.

    On a barely related note, I can’t help hearing ‘leotard’ without hearing Suede’s “My Insatiable One” in my head (and swooning).

  9. myfriendmissmiller says :

    I usually hate when people are overly satirical. I WANT to hate the blog because of my stance on overwhelming sarcasm in blogs, but I actually love it…. and I hate that I love it. Whether you follow me or not, this is good stuff. 🙂

  10. The Guat says :

    Pretty amusing stuff you got here. This is one of my favorites. Leotard. Pretty funny 🙂

  11. marilynmendoza says :

    we seem to have a similar dark humor. I like it!

  12. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife says :

    lol, kindred spirits indeed! we have a few racoons along the highway if you need any… great post!

  13. Mikalee Byerman says :

    I get that you’re looking for raccoons … but I kid you not, dead squirrels keep following me around. Here’s a post that includes a pic of just one of ’em:

    http://mikaleebyerman.wordpress.com/2011/08/24/dear-universe-can-you-hear-me-now/

    Kinda creepy, but could make for some good hats. Seriously.

    😉

  14. Magnet for Foolishness says :

    This is one of the rare days where I’ve enjoyed ALL the Freshly Pressed blog posts I’ve read! Congrats!

  15. Rob Rubin says :

    Leotards are cool. I wish I could go back to the 80s and become Denise Austin.

  16. broadsideblog says :

    Love this post. A mini-dream.

  17. Jbot says :

    My best friend lived in Hungary for a brief time. She said she saw the saddest man in the world there. He was an older man, all by himself, and he was holding two ice cream cones; one in each hand.

    She said he had the face of a man whose wife miscarried his unborn son and died after being hit in the womb by a puppy who was vaulted by a car. She said that was the saddest face in the world.

    • pixiealamode says :

      I have to comment on this, because that image of the two ice cream cones really does sound incredibly sad….

  18. dropopp.com says :

    I think that animal on the cover of your blog, looks dern right mad that he’s getting his pic taken…run!

  19. crweatherford says :

    What about the secret handshake? GOTTA have a secret handshake!!

  20. char says :

    Oh, to read minds! Life would never cease to be amusing if we could hear what someone across from us was thinking (that…or we’d get angry and hit them over their head with our purse or briefcase)

  21. 7theaven says :

    Lol.

    Different kinda post.

    I like

    and then the Racoon…..

    LOL

    GOod post

  22. Smaktakula says :

    Great post, and I often wonder the same thing!
    However, playing devil’s advocate, let me paraphrase a story (I read it in a Stephen Covey book, although it may not have originated there) which may add some nuance to your post.

    A man was riding the train during his daily commute, reading a newspaper. At the next stop, a man and his three children got on the train. The newcomer and the three children sat down opposite the commuter. After a few moments, the children were up and out of their seats, running up and down the aisles, annoying the man with the newspaper and generally making nuisances of themselves. Through the whole episode, the man who had boarded the train with the children sat motionless, as if he didn’t care about their behavior.

    Finally, the commuter had had enough. “Can’t you control your children?” he demanded.

    The other man looked up, as if seeing the commuter for the first time. “Oh, I’m sorry, you’re right,” he said, and then explained, “I’m not really with it right now. We just came from the hospital; my wife died an hour ago.”

  23. Darlene Steelman says :

    Thank you for cracking me the hell up on a bland Friday afternoon.
    Great post.

  24. valentinedee says :

    I once posted a blog on MySpace several years ago with only a joke. It got over 500 hits. I so appreciate this blog :0)

    val
    http;//valentinedefrancis.wordpress.com

  25. susielindau says :

    This is so random. I love it! I have my leotard and am ready at the front door. Hahaha!
    Congrats on being Freshly pressed!! It is insane, right?

  26. disseminatedthought says :

    Leotards and special membership hats: where do we sign up?

  27. Currie Rose says :

    So beautiful. Thank you.

  28. pezcita says :

    Macy’s is having a sale this weekend, sure hope leotards are included. I’d rather join a theatre than a circus, but that’s more due to lack of physical flexibility than anything.

  29. Anne Schilde says :

    Was it wrong of me to be surprised this was posted in “humor”? I still want in your club though if I can keep my leotard and my sequins separate. Actually, I’d like my sequins to be neatly sorted by color too with the pink ones first and then in order from most to least. Actually, I’d prefer to sort them myself. Actually, come to think of it, maybe I belong in a different club.

    Fantastic thoughts! Glad this was shared!

  30. Peter Parkorr says :

    I am not sure if this is meant to be read in a slightly sing song way with the voice of John Malkovich, but thats how I read it! Schnarfl!

  31. sincera7 says :

    i like the sound of the iron wheels against the tracks. my new friend, i wish it rained tonight. i’m beginning to like you very much.

  32. Lisa Smith Molinari says :

    Very clever little post and very funny to other people watchers like me! No raccoons here but there’s a dead armadillo up on Route 15.

  33. kzackuslheureux says :

    Super Cute! Maybe we are kindred spirits too, and oh my goodness, I don’t have a leotard either!!!!

  34. katemadison365 says :

    Hey, I was the woman on the bus sitting next to him. Why not invite me? I’ve only done that in a few, select states. I could perhaps give you a few pointers. Plus I have loads of leotards and you can have any style you wish.

    Enjoyed your offbeat post and next time don’t be shy, come say hello.

  35. Sarah Harris says :

    Aww that was fun! I had fun wandering after your train of thought!

  36. customtripplanning says :

    Fun to imagine the stories of strangers on the train.

  37. Bold Wandering says :

    Thank you for making me smile. People watching is one of my favorite past times. My husband and I recently realized we rarely talk when we go out to dinner, because we both are so in tuned to others. Not to worry we have plenty of conversation when people aren’t distracting us.

  38. Grumpa Joe says :

    I want to join, can I huh?

    • Squid says :

      Of course. Just send a photo of your leotard, with or without fairy wings, and your application will be processed by our team of specially trained admin gibbons.

  39. Michael says :

    Raccoons live near the woods. Their hats are tough to make. The meat isn’t very good either

  40. tiare75 says :

    So funny! If only the sad man sitting across from you could have read these words, too. Thanks for the smiles.

  41. Roshni says :

    Loved your post!!! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!!

  42. Manoj says :

    Short, to the point and funny. Just goes to show that you don’t need a thousand words or beautiful photos to convey your thoughts. Great post.

  43. russell5087 says :

    The last time I wore a leotard was when I foolishly took a class in modern dance. I was a horrible dancer, and as I was practicing with an attractive young lady, I developed a…well, you can’t disguise it very well in a leotard, now can you? So as delightful as your club sounds, no leotards for me. I’d rather just be naked and be done with it. as crass as that is. Or perhaps a raccoon carcass across the crotch, I rather like how that sounds, lots of c’s.

  44. the777man says :

    Awe, you made my mind wander back to the short few years I lived in the “City” San Francisco. I rode the muni everyday. I am a people watcher, and I would sit there watching as they got on and off.

    My good friend came into school one day horribly embarrassed, because she had fallen asleep and in the process laid her head on the strangers shoulder next to her. He was a very successful looking man in an expensive suit, and quite good looking she said. She rode clear into the City which was about a 2 hour ride and he never said a thing, just let her sleep all the way into the City!

    I still chuckle at some of my City experiences that I had… Good times! Although I am thoroughly enjoying my time back out on the Ranch!

    Peace and Harmony,
    Sj

  45. sasaliwngawit says :

    hello, squid,

    yes, this is short and sweet. reminds me of those british essays and short stories in the days when east india co. was still lording it over at the east. train stories by western men who find it hard to speak to other passengers. ^^

    it’s a clever post. thanks for sharing. 🙂

  46. beccysfoodies says :

    love it! 🙂

  47. artjen1971 says :

    Wow! Freshly Pressed–congratulations!

  48. Ilham says :

    i remember a racoon named Richard from the movie Where The Wild Things Are. …there’s one leotard in all of us. 😀

  49. workingtechmom says :

    I don’t look so good in leotards, but I love the club hats…can I help design them?

    Congrats on being FP!

  50. HoaiPhai says :

    What about sheepskin hats? Nothing says membership like sheepskin.

  51. natasiarose says :

    I want pink gemstones bedazzled onto the leotards. Pink bedazzled leotards and sheepskin hats are going to be the new “Miniskirts & uggs” someone get Cameron Diaz in on this STAT.

  52. microwavemeditations says :

    Dear person reading this reply, I love that picture you put up, over there to the left. And where did you buy that shirt you’re wearing, it’s so edgy. Let’s do brunch,okay?

    (loved the post, it was fun to try it out myself, thanks for indulging me)

  53. jasperwrites says :

    I hit the like button on this, then realised that I recognised your name, then realised that you’d liked one of my posts a few days ago, then realised that we should start a club!

  54. TheMindOfFreya says :

    *insert smiley face here* Very cute and witty post. Loving it!

  55. Moh Leo says :

    That’s a nice one man..

  56. Planet Nicola says :

    It’s good to know other people think this kind or random shit, too 😀

    Congrats on being freshly pressed (and a just a little bit squeezed) x

  57. Khadija says :

    Membership hats? I am there!

  58. Katie says :

    This made me smile immediately! I do the same thing when I see sad people or even rude people. My children and I make up wild stories about people when they cut us off in traffic or cut in line — like they are secret agents and they are being chased — but usually we just pretend they have some terrible affliction which has given them diarrhea and they have to get home quickly! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  59. Norbi says :

    I like read your blog. Thanks

  60. squarerootofzero says :

    I too wanted to run away and join the circus. But then I realized I already had a job in the Circus. I was asked to juggle everything, my boss is the fat lady, and some of my co-workers are clowns. HA!

  61. 7theaven says :

    Stop talking about hats soo much.

    ..

    ..

    Reminds me of Team Fortress 2 😛

  62. Andrew Thomas says :

    I thought I was the only one. It was a Thursday, maybe a Friday, anyway, I saw what I knew to be a man in a hat. I knew it was a hat because it was on his head. He turned and looked at me. I knew, he knew, and then it passed. I wish I had had the wonderful conversation you did. Maybe I will… One day.

  63. Bowrag (@Bowrag) says :

    strange…. but kinda like it

  64. Clip Snark says :

    Congrats on FP!! 🙂

  65. beginagainx2 says :

    may I join the club?

  66. Debra Colby-Conklin says :

    I thought I was the only one who made up stories for strangers….their lives are way more fascinating than mine.

  67. Paige S. says :

    Ugh. Moustaches.

  68. D Magazine says :

    haHA! I find raccoons to be smug creatures. Squirrels however are much more accommodating.

  69. gaycarboys says :

    fabulous post. thanks for sharing

  70. mackerelskies says :

    Dear sir,

    Can I be in your club?

    If I can’t be in your club, I would like a subscription to your newsletter. Or newsletters, if you plan on having separate publications for the circus club and the motorcycle-travelling baddie-thumping club.

  71. Angela T. says :

    Reblogged this on Breathing Sunshine and commented:
    I love this blog!

  72. Fiona.q says :

    cute! just let’s do it together 😉

  73. Rose says :

    This demands a ” I thought I was the only one” not in the leotards part, but in imagining weird-cute conversations with the other “traffic” partners. You made me laugh, thank you! 🙂

  74. fah says :

    so cool . thank you.

  75. Debi says :

    Congrats on being pressed!!! Love the post!

  76. Michele LMS says :

    Gosh, reminds me of all the times I spent on the metro going to and from work in Washington, DC, and how I longed to make some sort of contact with all of those sad looking people! . . . Great job!

    http://arabianmusings.wordpress.com/

  77. Arizona girl says :

    Totally hilarious – I love your sense of humor! I know exactly that feeling of wondering what the other people riding in the subway have going on in their heads and their lives (after a move to Germany, I’m new to the world of public transportation). Do you ever wonder what they’re thinking about you…? 🙂

  78. monicafay says :

    loved this lol very cute and funny. wow so many reblogs! it works wonders when wordpress pays attention and posts the good stuff in the featured posts!

  79. torivictoria says :

    There is nothing without a remedy. Great post

  80. mosartpage says :

    …great wee site!! greetings from N. Ireland!! will check back soon!!

  81. Arjun Yadav says :

    So short, simple and yet so real !

  82. Jay Decluney says :

    Bwahahaha! Opps sorry, did I just laugh out loud? Love it.

  83. jule1 says :

    I’ve often made up scenarios in my head for people I see that catch my fancy. Just to explain an outfit or a look. So glad someone else does that and that you’ve even written it down! How cool. Great imagination.

  84. glassandtheghostmonkey says :

    Your writing style is delightful. It is a real inspiration for my rather directionless blog.

  85. d_vaz says :

    Can I join your club? It seems like we have similar thought processes while commuting.

  86. reinaldobanh says :

    Reblogged this on reinaldobanh and commented:
    Someone is looking at u, and us.

  87. nenskei says :

    LOL … cool trip!

  88. rockwatching says :

    I secretly yearn to be a evil cave dwarf, with a helmet and a pickaxe. And no I wouldn’t wear a leotard, it would be a skirt of leopard tails and human thigh bones. And as for those sequins, I’d be harvesting them from your acrobat and selling them to Gypsies.

  89. Tyler Texan says :

    HAHAHA! I did this too everyday when I see someone new! I try to imagine their background story that resulted in them being at the same place and the same time as me… hmmm.. makes for interesting stories, especially when clowns are involved!

  90. neelimanair says :

    😀 short simple and haha! 😀

  91. Lulu Simawati says :

    Are the Beatles member of your club ? Don’t forget, they sang “Rocky raccoon” too 🙂

  92. Shuk_Khan says :

    Feel the same when I see some1 has something and I don’t.

  93. cellardoor91 says :

    I have plenty of leotards 🙂

  94. innocent1reborn says :

    While I admire your flair for fashion I would be remiss if I didn’t inform you that after talking it over with the raccoons they have unanimously decided that squirrels would make for far better membership hats.

  95. skintinthecity says :

    Ooh, kindred spirit, your journey to work is clearly way more exciting than mine – or else your imagination is . . .

  96. Lilith says :

    what about raccoon leotards I feel sure they would be very becoming…….

    Clever, cute post…congratulations on your freshly pressed

  97. MrTheKidd says :

    Love it, my commute will not be the same! Congrats on FP’d 🙂

  98. munteng says :

    aww i wanna join the club too

  99. Saara says :

    Although I have no idea what leotards are, can I join the club? Please?

  100. ddLynn says :

    lol…Love it! I’d wear the leotards if I could be a memeber…never mind…they’d make my butt look fat. Can I just wear the coon skin hat? Anyway, congrats on being FP!

  101. lyricalmuse61 says :

    lmao entertaining…thanks for the laugh! Leotards are awesome!! haha

  102. jollof says :

    lol. Two words for this post – Critically Insane!

  103. The Guat says :

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!! 😉

  104. keepbuilder says :

    This was just freaking great! Great, great, great. Thank you.

  105. batteries UK online shop says :

    have a little like Black humor,interesting

    • Squid says :

      That’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever received from a battery shop, which speaks volumes about the antisocial nature of battery shops in general. You, sir, are a credit to battery shops everywhere.

  106. thefuture2020 says :

    No Offense But In The Words Of The Legendary Steve Austin – “What”?

  107. vandysnape says :

    Great post ! I have this habit of making up stories for strangers…I wonder what it would be like if they can read our minds 🙂

    Congrats on freshly pressed !

  108. Liz Benitez says :

    I don’t have a leopard leotard but I do know where you can get a raccoon hat, can I be in the club too? 😀

    Grats on FP.

  109. Elyse says :

    Congrats of the FP! Yay for you.

  110. itsthattimeagain says :

    I’ve always wanted to say exactly this to the scowlers on the train. Of course you picked a special one with whose scowl you identified. I am a step ahead however, since I do own a leotard.

    HYSTERICAL POST!

  111. Mona says :

    Oh so delightful!

  112. carinaragno says :

    grab the hats, i got the leotards and we head to Milan 🙂
    Happy Day :))

  113. lifebginsat40 says :

    Loved the intro Squid..but damn the leotards!

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