I’d make a brilliant ninja. (Or is the singular actually ninjum? One ninjum – many ninja, like data. Probably not. I wish it was).
After months of ninjum training on the treadmill, I can now do about twenty lengths, back and forth, without stopping. I think this should qualify me for some sort of traineeship at least.
I am skilled in the use of the sword and even occasionally use the fword, which is much worse.
I do have some qualms about assassinating people, but I’m sure we can come up with a compromise. Perhaps, having intimidated them with my reckless use of the fword, I could theatrically threaten a small dog (who I would cunningly conceal about my person and who would also be a highly skilled ninja) unless they agreed to a strict plan of self-improvement. That’ll work.