Someone once said: “Men’s shoes should lift their soles far enough off the ground to stop their feet getting wet. Women’s shoes should lift their souls high enough that they don’t care about wet feet.”

It might have been me.

In any case, it’s sexist and wrong and I demand that it be replaced with something that encourages the footwear industry to wrap my manly size twelves in a pair of glittery winkle pickers. I’m thinking royal purple, but a blood red would work just as well. You can send them to my home or office, wrapped sexily in clear plastic, because that’s how glitteringly unashamed I will be.


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About Alex

I am an Excel spreadsheet that gained sentience back in 2000.

6 responses to “Cobblers”

  1. tearoomdelights says :

    I sympathise with your desire but you’ll only live to regret it when your feet are killing you and sciatica starts to take over your life. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

  2. Tess Kann says :

    A word to the wise: Be careful what you wish for but I think it’s a novel idea. If you can stand the ATTENTION and sore arches.

  3. madamfickle says :

    Winkle pickers? Would you americanize that for me? 🙂 I’m picturing some sort of strappy platform …..

  4. Anette says :

    Winkle is a herb.

  5. marie579 says :


  6. Elyse says :

    You can have the 12 pair of horridly uncomfortable heels in my close, if that’ll help. Only men (who don’t wear them) deisign women’s shoes.

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