Float peacefully through a warm, fragrant haze, quite possibly inhabited by winged kittens playing tiny flutes. Drift to within an inch of the thing you hold dearest in the universe. This may or may not be a ginger biscuit. As you reach out for it, observe the furious buzz of morning and find yourself sitting bolt upright in bed. Wonder where the screaming is coming from. Realise it is you. Stop screaming. Strike alarm clock ineffectually but with enough force to remind it who’s boss. Briefly wonder whether you might be able to force space-time into a more acceptable configuration, in which it’s still five hours earlier, with the power of your mind. Conclude that science probably doesn’t work like that. Observe darkness and curse the decades of socialisation that have removed ‘layabout’ as a career option. Stagger in the direction of toilet. Evacuate, deterge, delouse and descale self as necessary. Arrange self on the inside of garments until passable, to the casual observer, as human. Arrange self on the outside of coffee until passable, to self, as human. Pause in front of reflective surface to arrange facial features into a mask of unrivalled positivity and enthusiasm. Embark, once again, on global domination. Repeat as required.