As a kid, I always envied children who were raised by wolves. Having been raised by domestic dogs myself, they always seemed so cool and dangerous by comparison. Years later, I’ve learnt to appreciate the valuable life lessons that only an enthusiastic canine can bestow. For those of you with exclusively bipedal heritage, here are some rules to live by:
The only thing worse than having your ears turned inside out is having nobody around to turn your ears inside out.
It’s difficult, but not impossible to run and crap at the same time. The real trick is in pulling your trousers back up without slowing down.
When being taken for a medical appointment, always ask why. Do an inventory beforehand and get written assurance that it’ll all still be there on the way back.
In this communication age, the urban landscape offers literally thousands of places to leave your mark. The most popular canine networking application, iPeed, is now available to all breeds. Please feel free to leave a friend request on the lamppost in front of my house.